Today she msn me in sudden..saying i didnt talk to her.. I dun think she knows why I didnt..I have to act strong.. act so tough that she was the one with problem.. but i lose it...
I dont know how to continue with my life.. Here im sitting comfortably in office..earning that small pay.. there..i have to make decision to leave..cos my dad's shop left only 2 years and they will be out of job and i have to support my family..Its not easy..but only if she can see what i am going through..
She said she cried last week cos she dun feel the love anymore.. But im happy at least she now slowly losing her love to me.. so she can find someone better.. But she doesnt know how hurt I am inside for losing everything I ever love..
Perharps she will find someone one day..
Today is the last time I'm chatting with her as BF.. no longer she will be..she will soon find someone new.. someone whom loves me more than I do.. someone who cherish her..at least..someone who can support her financially..
Why my life has to be so difficult.. I cried almost everynight thinking about my life... But i have to do something about it.. Im trying..and tried very hard.. I just hope God would one day, give me a chance to stand up.. Even I am standing now..alone.. without someone who loves me..
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Winds of change
It reminds me the song sung by Scorpion, Winds of Change. Somehow, the wind is breezing through now. I never thought I would decide to start writing a blog, but since I have no one to share my heart talk, I've decided to write one today.
Lately has been a very dramatic moments for me. This phase where some call it mid ge crisis, is happening. Way too early for a kid like me.
I somehow felt I'm losing contact with everyone on this living planet. I felt so lonely.
I know I hurt someone. I have no choice. Looking at another side, I felt it's a wise decision to leave her as I am moving towards some place which I am not familiar. Im owing bank a lot of money. I am nearly to bankrupt. I dont really what can I do now except pushing her away.
Some might think I'm a player to do so, especially my family, but in actual fact, how can I go after another when I have to cut my meals to save myself some coins.
I felt like crying everynight, but no one listen. In office, no one was there. I am stuck in the middle of nowhere. Have you felt should you take lunch or not? To save money, you cant take cos colleague all quite rich. I dont take, I'll be alone in office. Sometimes I just don't feel to be in office.
I really dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried my best but things just dont work out right. Just my luck.
Lately has been a very dramatic moments for me. This phase where some call it mid ge crisis, is happening. Way too early for a kid like me.
I somehow felt I'm losing contact with everyone on this living planet. I felt so lonely.
I know I hurt someone. I have no choice. Looking at another side, I felt it's a wise decision to leave her as I am moving towards some place which I am not familiar. Im owing bank a lot of money. I am nearly to bankrupt. I dont really what can I do now except pushing her away.
Some might think I'm a player to do so, especially my family, but in actual fact, how can I go after another when I have to cut my meals to save myself some coins.
I felt like crying everynight, but no one listen. In office, no one was there. I am stuck in the middle of nowhere. Have you felt should you take lunch or not? To save money, you cant take cos colleague all quite rich. I dont take, I'll be alone in office. Sometimes I just don't feel to be in office.
I really dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried my best but things just dont work out right. Just my luck.
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