Closer I get to her

It has been quite sometime i didnt long into this lonely hearts and speak my hearts out. In fact, i totally forget about this blog. Not because Im no longer lonely, but because I've been keeping myself busy to avoid feeling lonely.

I met her, someone who's living in a high profile. Despite feeling sometimes she over react to something and sometimes too 'kan cheong', still I find her quite an interesting person and have a very strong determination to achieve wat she wants in life. I admire her. However, she is a close fren of the girl whom I'm in love with before and today, the particular girl is no longer in the country.

Even though my heart spells out whom I love most, but the closer I get to her, the more she makes me feel. Somehow I did not go any further cos I know, I am no where close to her, I'm only a guy in the street, while she is someone high profile and living in a very luxurious life. Unlike myself, need to skip meals to save enough for the next meal. I'm just another man in the street.

However, lately, I realised that all these while, she treats me good as her companion and not because she felt me. I am stupid to think she might, I mean MIGHT fall for me. But that doesnt gonna happen. However, I'm more than happy to be able to stand by her side and support her and be there for her when she needed me.

Lately, after receiving news from my company, sending me outstation permanently, my moods went up and down like a fast moving thermometer. But I dare not to tell her. I'm sure she wont feel anything. Afterall, she have so many friends around her, unlike myself, the only fren I have is my bolster. I cried everynight, with my DVD as my sleeping pills, who knows. Vain but thats me, cos I'm lonesome. But who cares? No one.

I guess after I leave KL, things would be better for everyone, I just hope that she would be able to find a replacement, at least someone who is willing to stand by her side. I will soon be forgotten, and I really see myself as bachelor for the years to come.